The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

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http://www.nationalfootballpost.com/2008/0...bad-the-ugly-4/

 

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

It’s that time once again everybody. Tuesday afternoon means one thing, another installment of The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. You know how we do it: no holds barred style. You play well, you get a pat on the back. You forget to show up on Sunday and you know what happens.

 

THE GOOD

 

1. New York Jets Offense: The Arizona Cardinals defense must have been feeling homesick because they went ahead and let Brett Favre and company scorch them like the Phoenix sun on Sunday to the tune of 56 points. Favre walked into Giants Stadium and promptly threw 6 touchdown passes (just another day at the office), 3 of which went to Laveranues “I Love Chad Pennington” Coles (8 catches for 105 yards). Just for good measure, Jerricho Cotchery also got down on the fantasy explosion, catching 4 passes for 67 yards and 2 scores. I can tell your first-hand how great it was to see this. I was one of the lucky SOB’s that had to play Favre in two of my leagues. No problems though. I had Braylon Edwards on my team. That helped.

 

 

 

2. Larry “Give Me The Ball & Get The Fudge Out Of The Way Johnson: Pop the champagne and set off the fireworks in Kansas City, because the Chiefs are in the win column! LJ ran roughshod over the Denver defense, carrying 28 times for 198 yards and 2 touchdowns. Good to see Herm Edwards finally realized the key to victory: take the ball out of the quarterback’s hands and pray Johnson can hold up under the weight of the team on his back. Johnson owners need to realize that now is the time to sell. LJ’s value is as high as it will get this year and he won’t be fortunate enough to play a defense like Denver’s every week of the season. Couple that with the fact that Edwards is going to run him into the ground, and you’ve got a fantasy trade waiting to happen. (Be sure to target the sucker who’s weak at the RB position).

 

 

 

3. Matt “I’m Still Fantasy Relevant” Schaub: On behalf of all owners, thank you Matt Schaub for waking up and playing some football. After two performances that had fans in Houston calling for Sage Rosenfels (now that’s how you get to the Super Bowl), Schaub sent a message to the coaching staff that Rosenfels still belongs in a visor. The Houston signal caller completed 29 of 40 passes for 307 yards and 3 touchdowns in Houston’s overtime loss at Jacksonville. While it’s a tough defeat to swallow, the Texans look to be coming together on offense. With that being the case, CAN YOU PLEASE GET THE BALL TO ANDRE JOHNSON!!

 

THE BAD

 

1. Marion “It’s Cool, I Didn’t Want The Ball Anyway” Barber Dallas Cowboys: I don’t think Barber owners saw this one coming. The sad thing is, this guy is having a monster year (70 carries, 311 yards, 4 TDs), yet Wade Phillips and Friends decide to give him only eight carries against division rival Washington? Where does that make any sense? Meanwhile, you’ve got crybaby Owens complaining that he isn’t getting the ball enough. Keep in mind, Romo threw it to him 19 times on Sunday. What’s considered enough in T.O’s mind? 30 passes? 40? Maybe the other 10 guys on offense should stop playing and Owens can do it all by himself. That way, he’ll have no one else to blame when things go south. Actually, he’ll probably throw Donovan McNabb and Jeff Garcia under the bus.

 

 

 

2. Brian “Hot One Minute, Cold The Next” Griese Tampa Bay Buccaneers: What a difference a week makes. Last Tuesday, Griese was located precisely due North of this paragraph, hanging out with the other studs in the “Good” column (probably drinking beers and hanging out by the pool like the other guys up there). His performance this past Sunday however, cost him his pool time. Griese completed only 15 of 30 passes for 149 yards, 1 TD and 3 INTs in Tampa’s win (Win? How do you win playing like that?) over Green Bay. Actually, you can credit him with two touchdowns, since he threw a beautiful spiral to Charles Woodson, who immediately took it 62 yards in the opposite direction for six. Good thing the Bucs defense was there to clean up the mess Griese made attempting to play quarterback.

 

 

 

3. Reggie “I Play Running Back But Can’t Run The Ball” Bush New Orleans Saints: Hollywood Matt Leinart’s former teammate failed to take advantage of the scoring free for all last Sunday against the 49ers. While Deuce McAllister, Robert Meachem and Lance Moore all stepped up big for the Saints by finding pay dirt, Bush was content to rack up a monstrous 38 total yards on 15 touches with no scores. Something about running backs not being able to run should have Bush owners a little worried. While he typically excels at catching passes out of the backfield, Bush is only averaging 3.5 yards per carry in 2008. If he was 30 years old, it would be understandable. But since he’s only 23, you gotta wonder what the problem is.

 

THE UGLY

 

1. David “Wide Right” Akers Philadelphia Eagles: Same old story in Philadelphia. Westbrook goes down, offense sputters, Andy Reid makes bad play calls, and the Eagles lose. While several people are to blame for the Eagles laying an egg in Chicago on Sunday night, Akers has to feel some of the heat. He missed two field goals that, had he made either, would have changed the outcome of the game late in the 4th quarter by allowing Philly to kick for the lead rather than go for it on fourth down (and get stuffed in the process). Yeah I know, they were from 47 and 50 yards out, but this guy is a professional. It’s not like it was December in New England. It’s September in Chicago. Put one through and help pick up the slack when B-West can’t play.

 

 

 

2. Plaxico “I’m Busy” Burress New York Giants: Nice job Burress. You had a bye week and still managed to find yourself in the Ugly column. I don’t even think the Lions could have pulled that off (hey, they didn’t lose this weekend!). Burress decided to bail on his teammates and not accept any phone calls while he was “vacationing” during the New York bye week. Very believable. I totally understand where this guy is coming from. In this day and age of modern technology, it’s impossible to get a hold of people. Just ask Pacman Jones. Nobody ever seems to know where that guy is (strip club). Enjoy the suspension Plax.

 

 

 

3. Arizona Cardinals “Defense”: What exactly did these guys get paid to do on Sunday? They fly to New York on the team’s dime, step onto the field, allow 56 points to be scored, and then go home. This isn’t college football. Teams are not supposed to put up 56 points. Ever. Well, maybe if you play St. Louis.

 

 

 

THE MENSA PLAY OF THE WEEK

 

The Mensa Play of the Week Award is headed back to Philadelphia with Head Coach Andy Reid. Four chances to get into the end zone against the Bears on Sunday night, and on fourth and goal from the 1, you decide to give the ball to a back-up running back, rather than let your $100 million quarterback sneak it in for six. That decision cost you the game and now you’re 2-2 looking up at three teams in the NFC East. Congrats, Andy! You’ve won the award for Mensa Play Of The Week.