Controlled Chaos

Bears' act for immature audiences only October 13, 2006 BY RICK TELANDER Sun-Times Columnist Tommie Harris never has played in a Monday night game. You could say the upcoming Bears-Arizona Cardinals tilt in the desert is the superhot defensive tackle's coming-out party for the national media. The big swinging fobs will be there in Tempe -- including Tony ''I'm Soooo Tired'' Kornheiser and Joltin' Joe ''The Bears Will Go 19-0'' Theismann. Perceived insult Harris has a couple of things going on in his mind right now. The first is the insult he thinks he and his 5-0 mates have received from the Cardinals' trash-talkers. Mostly, he means fourth-year wide receiver Anquan Boldin. Boldin's sin? ''Obviously, we see some things on film we can take advantage of,'' Boldin said of the Bears' defense. ''I like the way we moved the ball on them in the preseason. Anybody can have the ball moved on them. Nobody is just that dominant.'' Some people might see this as harmless patter from a fancy boy. Not Harris, whose five sacks and relentless pursuit of the ball have made him perhaps the top defensive tackle in the NFC. ''Arizona has not given us respect; I don't understand it,'' Harris said in the locker room before Thursday's practice. ''In this NFL, we need to have more class when it comes to giving each other respect.'' Now, the other issue for third-year pro Harris is realizing that with the pursuit of excellence, and perhaps an undefeated season and a Super Bowl trophy, come intense and increasing scrutiny from the people who transmit the news and its analysis to the public -- the media, in all their multilayered forms. It's just beginning. Imagine 8-0, 10-0 or, God help us, 12-0, when the 2006 Bears would be trying to surpass the legendary 1985 Bears' 12-1 record. Harris, who started the locker-room session by holding his hands in front of his face so TV cameras could not get a clear shot of him, chilled out later and took some time to chat about the demands that are to come. ''I'm learning to deal with the media,'' he said. ''It's one of those things that you have to do, that's what I'm learning.'' More than that, he added, he needs to learn how to communicate fairly and courteously with the writers and camera-and-microphone gang, and thus to use the indefatigable horde to his own advantage, or at least no disadvantage. ''My fans don't normally get to see me up close in uniform,'' he points out, ''but they like to hear me talk outside of it. I want to be a good football player and person to the average kid walking down the street. ''I've been told I've got to talk to the media more. It's hard because I just want football to be football and...'' Mood swing He said more, but it was impossible to hear him because Bears center Olin Kreutz, the serial jaw-breaker, had started rapidly flipping the light switch up and down while making amazingly loud noises. It wasn't even 1 o'clock and the NFL-mandated 45-minute media session wasn't over yet, but Kreutz was swiftly joined by many of his teammates, who screamed at the top of their lungs, made fire-alarm noises, siren noises, animal noises and bellowed for the media to get out right now, many with threatening gestures. Some screamed Michael Jackson's ''Beat It.'' Others pointed and smirked and turned on the few remaining media members the way a gang of bullies would turn on handicapped kids with lunch money in their pockets. It was an amazing, frightening transformation. The air of physical harm loomed. These aren't comparatively smallish baseball players in the White Sox' clubhouse with three Chicago cops ever-present. No, there's no law enforcement here, and size rules. Bears PR staffers Jim Christman and Scott Hagel chuckled at it all. Bears family heir and special projects manager Pat McCaskey laughed like a hyena. Tight end John Gilmore glared and angrily screamed, ''GET OUT OF HERE!'' I looked at him and marveled. I don't recall ever having spoken to him about anything. No matter, Harris no longer could be heard, and only a fool would stay a second longer. You wonder about it all. We humans equate winning with immortality, triumph with virtue. Cornerback Nathan Vasher had been so thoughtful earlier. ''You represent the organization and your family, and that always must be in the back of your mind,'' he said about players' off-field image. ''Even in college, playing for the University of Texas, we knew that.'' ''You have to handle yourself like a professional, whether you're winning or not,'' guard Roberto Garza added. ''It's the guys having fun,'' Christman said dismissively. ''It's their symbolic way of taking back the locker room. They just started the 'Beat It' song.'' Yuk, yuk. Good luck, Tommie Harris. Hope you and your buddies can learn how to be men. Gimmie a break Rick, complaing your media session was cut a few minutes short? Freightened you would be physically harmed?? It's like you signed your name to a Mariotti article. The NFL determined that locker rooms now must be open a minimum of four days a week instead of three; and for a minimum of 45 minutes, instead of 30. There's more access than ever, so what's the big deal if the guys screw around one day. You sound like a whiny baby..."Olin started flashing the lights and screaming and the 45 minutes wasn't even up yet" I can see if this was an every day occurrence, but it isn't. If you're scared hanging out with the big boys when they get loud, then switch to golf or tennis.

Yeah, I thought the guy was hilarious all year...

Not sure if it's the best, but we're going to the Lodge in Lisle Sunday. Free brunch from 10-2 and 1/2 off everything. They have a bunch of plasmas. I used to watch the Sox there a lot..

Dude it seems like you are always looking to the future and not the present. I dont even want to look at losing Brown and you already have his replacement.

thats true as well. I guess we have to go with the bear blanket!

Chaos in the house. Bear fan since birth. My dad is a die hard so I kind of inherited the Bears. Ever since there were VCRs, my dad has taped every game and then watches them over in slo-mo...pointing out mistakes and great plays. I was there for many of his "film sessions" and thats how I first became introduced. I love my bears!!

out of those they listed. That's my favorite as well.

"Monsters of the Midway" is another name for the Bears. This is a nickname for the Bears defense.

The suntimes had an article the other day for namning the Bears Def. I didn't send mine in cause I got swamped at work, but mine was: "The Bear Blanket" Hell it could even be marketed and sold. Who's gonna buy a "Steel Curtain" or a "purple people eater"(whatever that would be), but a blanket with the images of the Bears D on there...could be a monster. Not to mention it perfectly describes their D. They blanket everyone from the receivers to the RBs, to the QB. Go BEARS! I listed the results of the times article below. What would your nickname be?? Instant messages: And the winner is ... October 5, 2006 ... The Bruise Brothers. Sun-Times readers responded en masse to our request for nicknames for the Bears defense, and we think one of the suggestions will stick: The Bruise Brothers. It’s short and snappy with a Chicago connotation. The Good Jeff: I think Ursa Major (The Bear Constellation). When I think of the Bears defense, everyone who gets hit seems to see stars. Fish: This might be a bit over the head of your average Bears fan, but I think this sums it up perfectly, considering that the kind of football the Bears are playing is over the head of your average Bears fan: Ursa Major. (Great Bear) Lance: 11 Angry Men. RPJ: Bowing to the weather of Chicago and combining it with the reception the opposing offense receives when meeting the line, I think all they could be called is ‘‘The Cold Front.’’ Cliff: Tough Lovie Defense. Jabari: Bad News Bears. Kevin: The Chicago Defenders. Kevin: The Monsters of the Museum Campus. Michael: Rush Hour. THE REST Frank: Double Trouble. Joseph: Bear Tracks. Bob: DeMonsters of the Midway. Miles: The Black Hole Defense. David: The new nickname should be ‘‘Lovie’s Haters,’’ playing off the whole love/hate thing; clever, simple and mean. Richard: The Closers. Rick: The Midway Maulers. Kraig: The Blue in the Face Defense. Jon: The Un‘Bear’ables. Tony: Napalm Attack. Harvey: Crunch Bunch. Tony: The Chicago Mob. Ray: The Monster Mash. Anthony: The Black Hole. Everything that enters it disappears. Richard: How about the NPA (No Points Allowed) Defense? Carlos: Bear-Hug Defense. George: Da “D.” Brenda: Monster Quad4. Sandra: Wall of the Windy City. Juan: The Bear Skin Rug Defense! Dominic: RUSH-N-COVER. Joseph: The Lakefront Four. William: THE BEARS DEN. Joe: Bear Claws. Matt: The Ur ‘‘Lach Ness’’ Monsters of the Midway. Bob: DA FENCE. Brian: Clobber 2. Randy: Monsters of the Midway, period. (New Monsters of the Midway, if you must.) Mark: The ‘‘Black and Blue’s Brothers.’’ All they are missing are the sunglasses and cigarettes in their sleeves. This is what Chicago is really about. Marcus: When Peanut Tillman returned the game-winning pick-six against the Lions in ’05 the announcer said, ‘‘Fade To Black.’’ That is my vote. Mike: FANTASTIC FOUR. Jack: Gridiron Grizzlies. Max: X MEN. Richard: The Blue Blizzard. Carey: Tommy’s Terrors. Raymund: Derailed Express Phil: Soldier Field Hit-men. Randall: Quarter(back) Pounders. Dean: The Gune Squad. Paul: The Monster Defense. Don: Shock and Awe defense. John: The Grizzly Gamestoppers. Jerry: The Dash & Smash Defense. Tim: Plundering Posse. David: The Halas Hitmen. Deborah: Chi-Town Crunchers. Mike: Bearmageddon. Brian: The Bear Trap D. Richard: The Blue Wall.

I voted offense only cause I expected this out of the defense.